Does God hold husbands accountable for wives actions?

Today's sermon (given by our soon to be married assistant pastor) really struck a cord in me. It was based on Proverbs 31 and how we as a church should have the characteristics of the proverbs 31 wife. As I have meditated on his message today and how marriage is a example of the church's relationship to Christ, I had the verse in Ephesians 5:25-28 come to mind. This particular verse speaks of the character of Christ toward the church and says that husbands should do the same for their wives here on earth. "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." I have often came to this verse and studied it over the past year. Wanting to learn to be biblically submissive to my husband, and discussing this with him I have often wondered if he is held accountable for my actions. Not responsible for them, I am, but once married does the man become partly accountable for what his wife does or does not do? This line of thought comes from where God asks Adam why the forbidden fruit was eaten, even though it was Eve who actually began the whole sorry mess. The requirements for leadership in the church is that the man be able to rule his own household. The hirearchy that is set up in the bible is God, Christ, man, then wife. 1 Corinthians 11: 3 "But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God." So the question that has been raised in my mind is...is my husband accountable for holding me up to Christ without spot or wrinkle or without blemish. I have heard people talk of how the husband is to give himself for his wife as Christ gave himself for the church, but the second part of the verse isn't addressed. That Christ cleansed the church. Why would that be placed in a passage where it is addressing how husbands and wives relationships should be. For me as a wife I do not believe that it absolves me of responsibility for my actions, it does make me wonder if my husband is held accountable for my actions by God then is there anything that I have done that the Lord would ask him, why was this allowed? I know that this post is really stomping all over feminisim and womens rights, but I never was a big fan of all of that, so that doesn't really bother me. My goal is to please God and I don't want to do something that will require my husband to have to explain why it happened under his watch. I know that this line of thinking is pretty much alien in this day and age but so is most of what you find in the bible. This is going to require more prayer and study on my part, there are many things in my walk with the Lord that I could do better in and I do not want my husband to have to answer for my failings.

While studying this I found this link that discusses this some, here it is for those who want a more educated look at this subject.  http://www.carm.org/questions/about-doctrine/what-does-it-mean-when-bible-says-man-head-woman

Rambling.

Just downloaded blogger buddy for my sidebar. I am hoping that it will help me to remember to go ahead and blog a little bit!
Today wasn't too great for me, I was feeling very lazy and didn't get very much done. I have been doing so good at my workouts. Today I had to force myself to get in even 20 minutes on the elliptical. The longer i went the more tired I was. :( Anyway I did exercise, just not as long as usual. Hopefully tomorrow will be a more productive day for me.
I really like this blogger buddy! It is nice to have it up on my screen ready to use when I get an itch to blog. Not much on my mind tonight, so I will jump off of here for now. More later....

Checking in again

 I seem to have a hard time blogging like I had intended to. Of course it has been the Christmas season and things always get very busy around this time. We had a very nice Christmas, our oldest ds came home for 2 weeks for Christmas break from AIT. We have to take him back Jan. 2. While home he asked his girlfriends father for permission to marry her so they are now officially engaged. They are planning on a June wedding in 2011 so we have a lot of planning to do.
 My dh agreed to be my accountability partner/personal trainer. I am wanting to lose around 75 lbs but have never been able to stay the course on my own so I asked dh for help. I am using SparkPeople.com to track my nutrition and fitness. I am able to print out weekly reports for both so I can go over it with dh and we can adjust my plan. Over the holidays I lost 1/2 lb, not as much as I would have liked, but it was a loss.I am using their blog site to update on my progress in getting healthy.
 That is pretty much all that is going on in my little spot in the world. I hope that you were blessed in 09 and pray that you will be blessed in 2010.
His Girl

Been sick

Thanksgiving was difficult this year. Our family all had bouts of chest colds throughout the week. Needless to say I haven't felt like doing any blogging.  I have been struggling with submission lately. It is like Paul says...what I wish to do I do not do and what I wish to not do I do. Why can't we just do what we know to be right and be happy about it? No answers today, just questions. May God bless you.
His girl.

Marriage

During the sermon this morning I was reminded about the scripture that talks about how husbands are to present their wives to the Lord like Christ presents the church to God unblemished, without spot. Boy, I do not envy husbands! That is a pretty tall order. How many wives make this an impossible task by refusing to defer to the husband as the leader in the relationship? It is hard to defer to your husband, especially when he wants you to do something that you really don't want to do. Now I am not talking about anything illegal, just something that pushes you out of your comfort zone. This is something that the Lord has been laying on my heart a lot lately. I am being challenged to accept my Dh as my leader and to follow him and trust him in everything. I am not putting aside my own intelligence or being a door mat. I am placing myself in the assistant position, which is where I believe that God intended for me to be.  Dh values my input and listens to what I have to say, however, we have agreed that the final decision is his. What if he decides to go a direction that I don't want to go? I go anyway, trusting that God is leading Dh and that Dh is following God. If Dh ends up taking the wrong road, that is on his shoulders, not mine. God has told me to submit to my husband in everything, not just when I know he is making the right decision. Is it easy? NO! Is there more peace in our home? YES!!! As long as I keep my hands off the reigns. Does Dh make mistakes? yes. Does he admit to mistakes? Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Does it matter? Not really. We are on a journey together. We are both human and we both make mistakes, hopefully learn from them, and then continue on. I feel that our modern world has handed women a big bag of lies when it comes to a woman's place in the world. We are told that being a wife and mother is not enough. We need to go bring home the bacon and then fry it up. We are expected to have a career, be a loving wife, nurturing mother, perfect housekeeper, and excel in all that we put our hands to. That is an awful lot of burden to place on a woman's shoulders! That is more burden that the Lord ever intended for "the weaker vessel" to carry. We need to start allowing our men to care for, provide for, and protect us. What is wrong with living simply and allowing our husbands to be the men that God intended? Women are the emotional center of their homes and men are the logical center of their homes. We need both but one person cannot provide both, that is too stressful. Yes, I know that there are many women who are very logical and there are many men who are very sensitive. My Dh is very sensitive and I can tend to be very analytical. However, as I defer more to my husband I have found that my emotional side is surfacing more and as he takes more control his logical side leads him even as he continues to be sensitive. I know that sounds strange and like an oxymoron but that is what I am experiencing. I thank God for Dh's strength and ability to lead our family. I also thank Him for leading me to submit to my husband and to trust in his judgment. It breaks my heart when I see couples who are fighting the natural order of a family, there is so much turmoil and sadness. You can tell that neither couple is happy in the role that they are taking in the relationship, but they are so indoctrinated by the world view that they believe that they cannot be happy in the order of family that God set up. The world says that it is wrong to defer to your husband and that your are being abused somehow if you do as he wishes. Those who have trusted God and began to submit to their husbands have found that it is a much pleasanter way to live together. Things just flow better, and it promotes peace in the home.
The scripture that I referenced to in Ephesians 5:22-33. I know I did not quote it perfectly, but I hope that I got the idea across. This is the scripture that I try to apply to my marriage. You can read it for yourself in my Bible reader on the right of the page.
God Bless,
His girl

Surgery

Well, the last week has been a bear. My middle son (17) had surgery on his arm. He has been in pain and needing a lot of care and help. The pain is getting better finally. He is bored out of his mind though. When he is bored he drives everyone crazy trying to entertain himself. He is so fun loving and full of energy, when he has to curb the energy he says he feels like he will explode. We love him even though he drives us up the wall sometimes! I haven't done practically anything besides taking care of Derek. I have had to put off exercising for a while. My knee has been hurting really bad so no exercising until the pain lets up. Sorry about such a downer post, I guess I am just too tired. Just wanted to check in. I  will post again in a few days. 
God bless,
His girl

Sunday musings

Today our church recognized our veterans and our active military. I am very thankful for all those who serve our country. Without those men and women who voluntarily put their lives on the line, we would not have the freedoms that we enjoy now. "What greater friend is there than those who are willing to lay down their life for another." Paraphrased scripture, but you get the point.

   We had a "guest" speaker this morning, "Father" Bruce, as our pastor calls him. I really enjoyed his message. He challenged us to think about whether or not we are truly persuaded that nothing is as important as our relationship with God. He recently read a book about how our theology is either dog or cat. Dog theology is you feed me, care for me, love me...you must be God. Cat theology is you feed me, care for me, love me... i must be god. We start out on our Christian walks with cat theology being its about me, I need to be saved from something. Our prayers are centered around what we need and want. The goal is to get to Dog theology, where instead of being about me it becomes what can I do to serve God, how can I glorify God? Then our thinking is more complete. God calls us to be servants, not lords of the manor. How different would this world be if those who claim to be Christ followers were continually looking for ways to be servants to their fellow humans and instead of wanting glory for themselves would seek to have all glory go to Him who deserves it! Please don't think I am getting on a high horse, I have much improvement to be made in this area. I am by nature an introvert. To be a servant to others is hard when you are one who likes to stay home! I do not always put others before me, or if I do then I am often grumbling about it in my heart! Thank goodness my Savior does not expect me to be perfect! He loves me the way I am and gently and lovingly leads me along the path that He knows is best for me. When I let go of His hand and try to go my own way, He waits patiently for me to realize that I can't do it on my own and comes and leads me back when I call on Him.

Thanks for listening.

God bless, 

His girl